On holidays…esp. Christmas

Growing up you spend the holidays with your family.  You don’t really go to friends’ houses, you stay at home and endure the love that comes with family.  Then, you start growing up and dating people.  Things get more difficult.  You want to spend the holiday with your significant other, but you also want to spend it with YOUR family.  And there the problem begins. 

If you want to spend the holiday with your family and your significant other wants to spend it with theirs, but you want to spend it together as well…well, you can’t be at three places at once, so you have to make a decision.  And it’s not an easy one. 

To solve this problem, Ed and I, from the very beginning of our relationship, started the rotation.  Christmas in Natchez, Thanksgiving in Iowa…the next year, Christmas in Iowa, Thanksgiving in Natchez.  We’ve managed to keep the rotation until last year.  Ed got his first job, and me being jobless, we just couldn’t afford to travel at all for the holidays.  So we just put the rotation on hold in general.  We stopped with Christmas in Iowa and Thanksgiving in Natchez.  So this year, continuing the rotation, we should have Christmas in Natchez, and Thanksgiving in Iowa. 

And here comes the next problem.  Ed doesn’t get enough time off to go anywhere for Thanksgiving.  But there’s no way in HELL I’m not going to go see him.  But that makes our rotation now unfair, because it’s Iowa’s turn for Thanksgiving.  Ed’s family understands, but I want it to be equal.  So it gets tricky.  Since we are having Christmas in Natchez, we thought, why not have Ed’s family here too!  We’ve been trying to do it for years and not going back for Thanksgiving creates “demand,” as Ed would say.  So I’m going to Florida for Thanksgiving and we are ALL going to Natchez for Christmas.  Problem kinda solved.

Kinda?  Well, I haven’t factored in yet, siblings.  Now, brother married SIL. And her family has their own holiday traditions, as every family does.  However, they aren’t willing to waiver.  For example, growing up, we use to all pile in a car and ride around and look at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve.  Will the SIL has made it clear that Christmas Eve will never be spent in Natchez and they live out in the boonies with too many other family members making it impossible for us to continue our tradition of the Christmas light ride with her family, THUS killing our tradition.

Enter sister and BIL.  They sort of have their own thing going on.  They arne’t really on a rotation, they just kinda float.  I’ve been trying to convince everyone to get on the same rotation so that every once in a while, we can ALL be home for Christmas and do our traditional Christmas things.  But sister and brother and their respectives, don’t find this important at all it seems.

So I’m kinda pissed about this Christmas.  We, Ed and I, were unable to come home for Christmas last year, Ed’s dad just passed away and the Burton’s are all coming for Christmas, but sister and BIL don’t want to come, and who knows what brother and SIL are going to do.  They spend more time at SIL’s than here anyway, even when they claim to be coming here.  Seems like we can never get it all together.  And I’ve been telling everyone since we found out we couldn’t come last Christmas that THIS Christmas we should all be together… I know it’s hard to coordinate everything.  I know it’s hard to not piss each others families off.  But if we all get organized and try, we could.  And if some people would give in and allow someone else’s traditions to take place, then there would be more compromise and less animosity towards one another when everyone IS here. 

I was just hoping for a big ol Christmas, cause it’s always killed me not to be home for Christmas and this last year was especially hard.  So sue me if all I want is our Christmas traditions and everyone to be together again like it use to be.  Life is too full of missed moments and sometimes I feel like you have to make them happen.  We finally got the Burtons on board and the rest of the crew jumped ship. 

I know things can’t be like they use to be, but it would be nice to have something familiar and be surrounded by friends and family this holiday.  This year has just been really hard.