So no good news. We've tried everything within our financial ability and I just need a break.
I've read in a lot of different places that having fertility issues can be compared to losing a loved one. But not just once...every. single. month.
I'm tired of crying (but I can't stop). I'm tired of it not working out. I'm tired of wondering what stupid shit I'm going to have to do next.
I feel like I haven't been on this journey very long, but it's been rough. It's been hard. And I just feel like a weak person. I don't know how some people deal with this for so many years, through so many miscarriages, etc. I'm just not that strong.
We've been not not trying for at least three years and then I have been sort of trying (through tracking), and now this year of really trying. I'm just not strong enough to endure it. So I'm/we're going to take a break. Not sure for how long because it's one of those things that never really leaves your mind, especially when one week out of the month, I'm reminded heavily of it. But I'm going to try to give it a rest.
In true me fashion, I've been researching to find people in similar situations, that have been able to go on, find a new purpose in life, etc. I found one woman's story and although inspiring, I still feel like I am a long way from being able to feel like she does, nonetheless, it was inspiring. So click here and read her story. She speaks so well to the feelings that I've had and and helps me know that it's ok to feel this way.
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