I lied...

I’m referencing this post, in which I thought I could lose 40-50 pounds by July.  It seemed feasible at the time, but it’s been really hard to stay on the wagon.  So, I guess I didn’t lie, but I was seriously mistaken. I got off for another weekend because the week had been so hard and before I got back on the wagon I weighed myself and found, that even though I had eaten pretty healthy while “off the wagon,” I had gained 4 lbs.!  FTW!  So, that was depressing and I stayed off and ate some crap for a couple days before hoping back on.  Now, I’m back down to where I was before getting off.

I’ve also decided to make one day a week a cheat day.  That does not mean that I eat crap.  That means that I stay on for most of the day and pick one meal, lunch or dinner, to go out to eat.  That also means that I should work out in some shape or form on that day.  I picked Tuesday.  There are a couple reasons that I picked Tuesday.  First, if I have enough willpower to make it through the weekend AND Monday without getting off the wagon, I deserve a treat (or at least I think so).  Second, Tuesdays are Taco Tuesdays where a local Mexican restaurant has half off appetizers, 1$ tacos, and BOGO booze.  Yes, I will take a huge BOGO margarita….nom nom nom.  Being in Colorado, the Mexican food it NOT good, however, it’s decent.  It’ll do.

A positive thing to this, on again off again meal plan, I am realizing just how shitty I feel when I’m off.  It’s making me second-guess my cravings.  Do I really want pizza and a blizzard?  The emotional side of me says “yes”….my body afterwards says, “WTF did you do to me!?”  So even tough I haven’t lost as much weight as I wanted to by now, I think more importantly, I’m learning to eat healthier.  I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a process.  Just like I didn’t gain all the weigh over night, it’s not going to come off over night and I’m not going to learn to eat correctly over night either.

I recently read the info graphic below about real hunger vs. physical hunger and it really helped me realize that I mostly feel emotional hunger.  For years now, I haven’t really known what hunger feels like.  I have cravings and that’s not hunger.  I also never feel satisfied when I eat, no matter if it’s healthy or not.  These I guess are medical problems that may resolve themselves the more I learn about eating correctly and the less crap I eat.

Source

 And as for that exercise part that I mentioned earlier.  I’m trying to walk at least 3 times a week, and for at least 30 minutes, and at least 3 miles.  Lots of 3’s.  The weather hasn’t been very helpful.  I like to walk outside, treadmills are NOT my style and it keeps snowing and being super windy.  That’s not fun when you need to walk.

 In addition, now that we’re having a few more warm days than cold days, I want to start the C25K.  I found an app for my phone that tells me when to do what, so it seems like a no brainer.  I’ve always wanted to be a runner.  It’s just always been so out of reach for me.  We’ll see if maybe by next year if I can run more than two seconds without dying…we shallll seeeeee.