DISCLAIMER


03 September 2013

I prayed...

to God today.


(and if you know me, that’s something I don’t normally do.)

I prayed that He would take away my pain.  That He would let me know one way or another if I was going to have children and to help me accept His decision.

What brought this about?  If you remember a few posts back I wrote about how difficult it was some days.  How I would just cry at the slightest reminder that I’m NOT having a baby, despite being pregnant twice.

Today was one of those days.  Someone I use to, kind of know is pregnant.  With her 3rd child.  On top of that, someone we know now, didn’t even want kids, was on birth control, and has been drinking like a fish, wound up pregnant, and we hung out with them this weekend.  Both of them, as well as I don’t even know how many other people, are expecting…the worst part…they are all due the same month I was.

It’s emotionally draining.  It’s hard.  And sometimes, I just don’t know how to deal…especially with no sign of my cycles even starting again after my last miscarriage (Who WANTS their fucking period??).

I just don’t know how to deal today.

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