DISCLAIMER


25 April 2013

I am...

PISSED.

I know that my friends don't owe me anything.  But as a friend, I expect certain things of you, just as you should expect certain things of me.  Like, if I say I'll be there for you, I will.

I have learned through moving just about every year, that this type of friend cannot be made after a certain age.  I have met people, we hang out, we have game nights, we drink together, we workout together, but it's not the same.  You will not be there for me.  And you've proven it.

We've had several "friends" say that they would do something for us.  So we planned.  And now that the time has come...ALL of them have backed out.  I know my real friends wouldn't do this.  One even had the excuse that he just didn't feel like it.  Really?  Well, ok.

I am ready to move to a place and be near my real friends.

These "friends" just make me sad.

24 April 2013

Crossing...

fingers, toes and fat rolls for Texas!

A dear friend of mine is doing her best to talk me up at her school for a teaching position.  Now I'm hoping TX likes my credentials and I can get certification there.

They got my application today, so I hope I hear something soon.  It would be nice to be near friends who I consider family and have that support system that I've been lacking for the last...oh EIGHT years. Also, Colorado is cold.  I need warmth. I want to grow a garden!

17 April 2013

Cheat Day Fail

So because my diet is so strict these days, I implemented a cheat day.  On cheat day, I can basically eat what I want, but as I've progressed in changing my eating habits, this hasn't been so bad.  NOrmally I would eat a bunch of crap, but I'm working on that.

So I promised Ed that I would eat Indian food with him...so we did that.  I noticed I couldn't eat nearly as much as I use to.  Nor a bad thing, just an observation.

I had also decided to bake.  The weather feels like baking weather to me, and it was cheat day!  I could eat baked goods.  So I made a Peach Cobbler and a Peach Pound Cake.  The cobbler was delish. Nom Nom Nom.  The cake was good too, reminded me of a German cake...brings back good memories.  I actually ate a lot of the cobbler...maybe too much.  And I had a tiny piece of the cake.

For dinner I had my regular veggie sandwich from Jimmy John's...gotta love JJ's.

But that was my food intake for the day.

Doesn't sound toooooo bad for a self proclaimed sugar addict.  But when I woke up this morning I had pretty bad heart burn.  Like...not fun.

The only way for me to get rid of heart burn....is to barf.  Meds don't work.

So yeah, lesson learned...don't eat so much sugary crap.

15 April 2013

Things...

I woud like to try.

I've been telling myself for a while that I want to do this, or that, or this other thing.  So this will be the start of a list (which I'll add to the "101 Things" list on the sidebar) of things that I want to do.  These are specific things like....


  • Zumba
  • Yoga
  • Pilates
  • Yogalates (?)
  • Dance Lessons
  • Martial Arts (I use to do TaeKwonDo) 
Now, my biggest problem is usually finding someone to do this stuff with (as well as finding the money to do it!).  I hate going to these things alone because I always feel dumb.  I need someone to feel dumb with me!

13 April 2013

I lied...


I’m referencing this post, in which I thought I could lose 40-50 pounds by July.  It seemed feasible at the time, but it’s been really hard to stay on the wagon.  So, I guess I didn’t lie, but I was seriously mistaken. I got off for another weekend because the week had been so hard and before I got back on the wagon I weighed myself and found, that even though I had eaten pretty healthy while “off the wagon,” I had gained 4 lbs.!  FTW!  So, that was depressing and I stayed off and ate some crap for a couple days before hoping back on.  Now, I’m back down to where I was before getting off.

I’ve also decided to make one day a week a cheat day.  That does not mean that I eat crap.  That means that I stay on for most of the day and pick one meal, lunch or dinner, to go out to eat.  That also means that I should work out in some shape or form on that day.  I picked Tuesday.  There are a couple reasons that I picked Tuesday.  First, if I have enough willpower to make it through the weekend AND Monday without getting off the wagon, I deserve a treat (or at least I think so).  Second, Tuesdays are Taco Tuesdays where a local Mexican restaurant has half off appetizers, 1$ tacos, and BOGO booze.  Yes, I will take a huge BOGO margarita….nom nom nom.  Being in Colorado, the Mexican food it NOT good, however, it’s decent.  It’ll do.

A positive thing to this, on again off again meal plan, I am realizing just how shitty I feel when I’m off.  It’s making me second-guess my cravings.  Do I really want pizza and a blizzard?  The emotional side of me says “yes”….my body afterwards says, “WTF did you do to me!?”  So even tough I haven’t lost as much weight as I wanted to by now, I think more importantly, I’m learning to eat healthier.  I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a process.  Just like I didn’t gain all the weigh over night, it’s not going to come off over night and I’m not going to learn to eat correctly over night either.

I recently read the info graphic below about real hunger vs. physical hunger and it really helped me realize that I mostly feel emotional hunger.  For years now, I haven’t really known what hunger feels like.  I have cravings and that’s not hunger.  I also never feel satisfied when I eat, no matter if it’s healthy or not.  These I guess are medical problems that may resolve themselves the more I learn about eating correctly and the less crap I eat.
Source
 And as for that exercise part that I mentioned earlier.  I’m trying to walk at least 3 times a week, and for at least 30 minutes, and at least 3 miles.  Lots of 3’s.  The weather hasn’t been very helpful.  I like to walk outside, treadmills are NOT my style and it keeps snowing and being super windy.  That’s not fun when you need to walk.

 In addition, now that we’re having a few more warm days than cold days, I want to start the C25K.  I found an app for my phone that tells me when to do what, so it seems like a no brainer.  I’ve always wanted to be a runner.  It’s just always been so out of reach for me.  We’ll see if maybe by next year if I can run more than two seconds without dying…we shallll seeeeee.

01 April 2013

Round 3...

Fail...yet again....now going in with the big guns...or maybe bigger guns...we'll have to see...