On getting my hair did...

I've always enjoyed shorter hair.  My hair is pretty short now, however, I'm talking pixie short.  Pixie short looked good when I was thinner.  I'm kind of afraid that my face is so round right now, that pixie short wouldn't look so cute. I've found a few photos of thin people who supposedly have round faces in which I really like the hair styles, such as:

Found here

Found here

But I think this has been my all time favorite for some years now:

Found here and a few other places

Still searching for the right style.  Maybe my oh so wonderful and very talented hairstylist can help me out Thursday when I go to get it cut.  Until then, the research continues.

On being thankful…

A lot of my friends on Facebook are doing a daily “I am thankful for…” post.  It’s kind of interesting to see what people are thankful for.  I thought about sarcastically posting that I was thankful Monday-Friday for not killing myself as I sleepily commute to school in the morning and that I’ve made it (safely) through each work day. And then Saturday and Sunday I am thankful for not having to put up with those little sh…er..lovely students that I “teach” Monday-Friday.  However, I began thinking about it.  There are many things in my life that I am thankful for, so here she goes (in no particular order):

1. my upbringing
2. the fact that I have a job with a decent pay check
3. Mighty Miss Ebba Jean Lucille
4. Family
5. Sleep
6. Technology with which I can use to see my husband on a daily basis
7. Edward Ray Burton
8. My, although far away, friends
9. My education
10. Comfy beds
11. My Grammy blanket (shhhh…don’t tell anyone)
12. My mini
13. A place to sleep
14. Nieces and nephew, they’re hilarious and cute
15. Hulu
16. Talbots Women
17. Pretty things
18. Sarcasm
19. A few students that shall not be named, however they get me through my day because they actually want to learn
20. My experiences abroad and living away from home
21. The fact that I can usually come back “home”
22. That I still have one living grandparent
23. That I got to know and spend as much time as I could with Ed’s dad before he died
24. Crafty things
25. That I’m somewhat healthy
26. The changes of the seasons that inspire me
27. Common sense
28. OPI nail polish
29. Hobbies: knitting, photography
30. Co-workers that understand and help me make it through the day
31. My new computer coming in the mail on Monday
32. Good books
33. My vibram fiver fingers, all four pair
34. Pinterest…pretty and shiny… oooooooh
35. Friends with whom I can talk every day and always have something to say/discuss, and who will listen to me, share with me, and give objective opinions to my problems, concerns, down to the “which one should I buy?” types of problems.  As well as friends who I rarely get to talk to, but I can call them up and it’s like we haven’t missed a thing
36. vegetarian options in Mississippi
37. plants and gardening
38. old things passed down
39. music, even if it’s country
40. that I get to see Ed this Friday!

Now, this list didn’t take long to think of, so I’m sure there is a lot more that I am thankful for.  What are you thankful for?

On Christmas presents and the Amazon wish list…

For years, I have kept an Amazon wish list.  More for my own benefit, like if I research something I can just add it there and not have to keep 100 bookmarks, than for anything else.  But as I get older, I wish people would have them and use them.  I know it seems thoughtless, but you can get ideas from them.  And you get a person something they actually want, rather than something they are just going to re-gift or give away in a few years time.

Also, for the past couple of years, Amazon has had the universal wish list button.  You just install it and you can add anything from any website to your Amazon wish list.  I’ve added stuff from etsy, ebay, Bed Bath and Beyond and many other stores.  It just seems like a convenient place to keep a list of the things you would like to have one day. 

Some people argue that this is materialistic and damaging to your mental health.  I guess it’s just how you look at it.  I don’t look at mine as a list of things I don’t have.  I use it as a list of things that I potentially want, have researched, and don’t want to or can’t buy quite yet, but they are there if I want to easily access them, rather than having to remember what I was looking for to begin with. 

Today I even did a little Wish List upkeep.  I deleted over 50 things that I thought I was interested in or that I use to be interested in, but am no longer.  It kind of felt good and helped me to redirect and focus on what I am interested in.  After deleting more than half of my Wish List, I added a few things that are more directed towards my current goals and wishes.

So I encourage you to make a Wish List.  If anything I can stalk you and see what you like or would like to have.  It’s kind of fun, you can learn a lot about a person.  And it will also make it easier for people to buy you things!

*disclaimer: these are my opinions and you don't have to agree.

On holidays…esp. Christmas

Growing up you spend the holidays with your family.  You don’t really go to friends’ houses, you stay at home and endure the love that comes with family.  Then, you start growing up and dating people.  Things get more difficult.  You want to spend the holiday with your significant other, but you also want to spend it with YOUR family.  And there the problem begins. 

If you want to spend the holiday with your family and your significant other wants to spend it with theirs, but you want to spend it together as well…well, you can’t be at three places at once, so you have to make a decision.  And it’s not an easy one. 

To solve this problem, Ed and I, from the very beginning of our relationship, started the rotation.  Christmas in Natchez, Thanksgiving in Iowa…the next year, Christmas in Iowa, Thanksgiving in Natchez.  We’ve managed to keep the rotation until last year.  Ed got his first job, and me being jobless, we just couldn’t afford to travel at all for the holidays.  So we just put the rotation on hold in general.  We stopped with Christmas in Iowa and Thanksgiving in Natchez.  So this year, continuing the rotation, we should have Christmas in Natchez, and Thanksgiving in Iowa. 

And here comes the next problem.  Ed doesn’t get enough time off to go anywhere for Thanksgiving.  But there’s no way in HELL I’m not going to go see him.  But that makes our rotation now unfair, because it’s Iowa’s turn for Thanksgiving.  Ed’s family understands, but I want it to be equal.  So it gets tricky.  Since we are having Christmas in Natchez, we thought, why not have Ed’s family here too!  We’ve been trying to do it for years and not going back for Thanksgiving creates “demand,” as Ed would say.  So I’m going to Florida for Thanksgiving and we are ALL going to Natchez for Christmas.  Problem kinda solved.

Kinda?  Well, I haven’t factored in yet, siblings.  Now, brother married SIL. And her family has their own holiday traditions, as every family does.  However, they aren’t willing to waiver.  For example, growing up, we use to all pile in a car and ride around and look at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve.  Will the SIL has made it clear that Christmas Eve will never be spent in Natchez and they live out in the boonies with too many other family members making it impossible for us to continue our tradition of the Christmas light ride with her family, THUS killing our tradition.

Enter sister and BIL.  They sort of have their own thing going on.  They arne’t really on a rotation, they just kinda float.  I’ve been trying to convince everyone to get on the same rotation so that every once in a while, we can ALL be home for Christmas and do our traditional Christmas things.  But sister and brother and their respectives, don’t find this important at all it seems.

So I’m kinda pissed about this Christmas.  We, Ed and I, were unable to come home for Christmas last year, Ed’s dad just passed away and the Burton’s are all coming for Christmas, but sister and BIL don’t want to come, and who knows what brother and SIL are going to do.  They spend more time at SIL’s than here anyway, even when they claim to be coming here.  Seems like we can never get it all together.  And I’ve been telling everyone since we found out we couldn’t come last Christmas that THIS Christmas we should all be together… I know it’s hard to coordinate everything.  I know it’s hard to not piss each others families off.  But if we all get organized and try, we could.  And if some people would give in and allow someone else’s traditions to take place, then there would be more compromise and less animosity towards one another when everyone IS here. 

I was just hoping for a big ol Christmas, cause it’s always killed me not to be home for Christmas and this last year was especially hard.  So sue me if all I want is our Christmas traditions and everyone to be together again like it use to be.  Life is too full of missed moments and sometimes I feel like you have to make them happen.  We finally got the Burtons on board and the rest of the crew jumped ship. 

I know things can’t be like they use to be, but it would be nice to have something familiar and be surrounded by friends and family this holiday.  This year has just been really hard.

on 26....

Thanks Mississippi, you got something right!

On being girly....

I’ve never been one to be girly… I mean, I do bathe…and wash my hair every day.  But it takes me literally 25 minutes from the time I step into the bathroom, until I’m fully dressed and ready to go.

However, to my surprise, I have become interested in painting my nails.  But not like hot pink or any pink for that matter…dark colors.  I’ve discovered that, even though it may be expensive, OPI nail polish seems to dry quickly and stay on pretty well.  I made the mistake of buying a Dior nail polish because I LOVED the color.  Come to find out that it is thick, gloppy, and the application brush just plain sucks.  Then I found the same color in OPI and kicked myself for not doing more research, how unlike me!

Since, I have bought three more OPI dark colors.  I have “Get in the espresso lane,” which was the first color I tried.  It is kind of deceiving because it’s a pretty dark brown in the bottle, but for all intents and purposes looks pure black when dry on your fingers, UNLESS you’re holding your hand directly under a bright light.

Then I bought the three others,

“You don’t know Jacques”

“Ski teal we drop”

“Houston we have a purple”

and “Houston we have a purple,” which looked so much darker in the bottle, but came out pretty bright (and thin) in the actual paint.  I think next weekend I want to try and get a couple more colors.  The place I got the last three didn’t have very many and I wanted to see “A-taupe the space needle,” “Suzi loves cowboys,” and I’m still looking for a grey that I like.  I don’t want metallic just can’t find what I’m looking for yet.

So that is my adventure in being girly for now…we’ll see if anything else comes up in the near future.

The big 2-9...

In other words, the crapiest birthday yet.

Background

I was supposed to be born on Halloween, or so my mother says.  But I came a few days early.  Now for some, having a birthday so close to Halloween would make them hate it…not me.  Halloween is one of my most favorite times of the year.  I love the costumes, the decorating, the parties, and most importantly the candy…because I’m a sugar addict, you know?

Some of my fondest memories are of my Halloween birthday parties.  In kindergarten, we had the whole class over and we bobbed for apples, had a piñata, and had a sort of haunted house through an old part of our house that was unfinished, complete with fog machine, scary lights and sounds, and some pretty creepy looking gouly fake people.  Fun was had by all.

I went through a patch about 4^th grade, where I just wasn’t cool enough, and no one wanted to come to my birthday parties.  One year, only one of my sister’s friends showed up.  But then about 7^th grade, it picked back up.  I had a Halloween dance at the house.  It was awesome.

Throughout the years, we always put up this scene on the dining room table, complete with a tree (a real tree branch), a cemetery, a witch and her caldron, a cat some ghosts, etc., allll handmade.  It’s still around here somewhere.  But I remember the first year we had it all set up.  It was awesome and I’m sure it still is if we still have it.  Not sure, I should ask mom.  I think some of it was starting to deteriorate, I mean, it is 20+ years old.

Birthdays were good for a while.  In college, I remember having some pretty awesome birthdays.  I think my favorite was a Halloween party we threw at the apartment we lived in.  Not many people came, but my closests were there.  And that’s all that really mattered to me.  I decorated, made some goulish treats, music and dancing, fun was had by all.

Even in to grad school I had some pretty awesome birthdays.  Since time was of the essence (no one had any because we were always studying), the parties became calmer (?).  I had a pumpkin carving party.  It turned out pretty awesome because a few of us, after carving the pumpkins, took them over to a professors house.  We rang her doorbell and hid in the bushes.  We gave ourselves away because we couldn’t stop laughing.  Fun times…fun times…

Even my birthdays in Germany were pretty awesome.  Germans don’t have Halloween, but once I told them about it AND that my birthday was so close and I LOVED having Halloween inspired birthday parties, they jumped on board.  I would venture to say that Germans were more enthusiastic about it than my American friends.

Back in the states, the joy died down.  Everyone always had somewhere else to go, a better Halloween party to attend.  It’s like you have to book people years in advance, but they still have plans and don’t want to just have a “lame” Halloween birthday party.  It’s been a while since I had a birthday party in general, much less a Halloween one.  And that comes from many reasons, one being that all my friends are spread out over the world, well Europe and the states.  No one really wants to travel for a birthday party, and they always have something better to do anyway that involves cooler people. And now I’m whining, sappy sappy, bblah, blah..

Today

This year however, seemed to be one of the most forgetful and sucky.  One, because I couldn’t even spend my birthday with my husband and two, because there was absolutely no cake to be had.  I mean, I might as well say my birthday didn’t even happen.  A birthday without cake is just another day.  So for all intent and purposes, I did not have a birthday this year.  I guess that means that I’m not actually 29, but I’m still 28 (?). 

This was also the first year that I wasn’t excited at all about Halloween.  Just too much going on to think about things like Halloween.  Between school work, grad school work, long distance relationship, commuting, and trying not to get killed, I’ve been a little preoccupied.

Maybe next year will be better, because I love Halloween and this year was just totally unacceptable.

blarg

sometimes i feel like my period is just mocking me...

Dear baby girl parents,

Please, for the love of god, quit putting those awful headbands on your babies.  It’s not cute, it’s actually kinda tacky.  Especially those huge one where you can’t see the babies head, I mean, what are you thinking when you take that thing in to a phorotgrapher and you get your baby’s photos back and all you can really see of the kid is a big headband?  Don’t you want pictures of your actually baby?

Let’s check some of these out…

You have the flat out tacky.

Why yes, let’s put a row of daisies across my kids forehead, it’ll be sooo cute.  No, you’re wrong, it’s not cute.  It looks cheap.  Just stop.

Oh, even better.  Rather than a row of flowers, let’s put a flower as big as the kids head.  Oh and we’ll throw in a huge fake plastic sparkly thing in the middle to jazz it up a bit. 

Wrong, again.  Just. Stop.

Then, let’s add all kinds of shit to it so that we can barely recognize the kid.   A big tutu, because every girl wants to be a ballerina, right?  This weird mesh top, and again a huge ugly flower on her head.  Perfect. BARF.  I really can't even comment on this trend.  It just scares me.  I feel sorry for these girls...

Look at the expression on this kids face.  I mean come on.  She doesn’t even like the thing on her head!

Oh I ran out of flowers, we’ll do a feather thing instead.  Nooooooooooo…

Now don’t get me wrong, some of these CAN BE cute, not so tacky, and actually appear to be well made and not just some craft store stuff glued together.  But these have more of an elegant only for photos kind of feel to them.. You wouldn’t see the kid wearing it anywhere else other than this photo.  For example, this one isn’t too bad.

It looks well made, and there is a color theme going on and it all ties nicely together.

So new and old baby girl moms..please stop.

One of those days...

I’m having one of those days, when all I can think about is the things I want and don’t have.  When really I should be grateful for the things I do have, like a safe, free, place to live, a borrowed and again free car, food, clothes, new clothes, a JOB!, a computer, books, a wonderful husband, an education, health, life…

Instead, I think of all the things I want…new car, house, babies, to live in the same town with my husband. 

I hate it when I feel like this.  I keep telling myself to just suck it up and be grateful.  I have so much and what I don’t have, I can’t get because I put myself in this situation.  So I should really just shut up, stop being a jerk, and get over it.

But it’s still just one of those days…

Just wanted to say...

I hate Iowa and Nebraska.  No offense to those who like those two states.  But, I can’t stand them.  Not after my last visit.  And everyone says people from the South are slow and stupid…have you ever been to Nebraska and Iowa?  We aren’t really all that slow here in Mississippi, just a little more laid back.

Well…until you run your car through the local malt shop…then we get pissed.

This guy i think was originally from Nebraska...or at least he drives like it.

To buy or to rent...

So as I’ve posted before, I am moving to Vicksburg, MS and am looking for a place to live.  I had it all sort of worked out where I would live with a friend in Clinton, MS and commute with her husband.  Save on rent, commute time, and money.  However, that took a strange turn and it may or may not work out.  I’m giving it time to see what happens with that situation and then maybe we’ll reevaluate in about a month if all seems well.

I spent a few weeks looking for a place to rent and the options are slim, and expensive.  I could live in a shack, that might blow over in a strong wind and I might get robbed every day, for somewhere in the price range of 650-750$.  OR I could live in a crappy old house or a one bedroom/one bath apartment, for 850-1,500$ a month.  And in this economy, I just don’t see either happening.

I’ve settled, for now (see previous post), on living with my parents in Natchez, MS.  A good one and a half hour commute, one way…door to door.  But with the commute, planning, grading, and my own grad classes, I see this sucking.  A lot.  However, it will save us a lot of money and will allow us to pay off our credit cards much sooner than if I were to rent or buy something.

Now to the buying part.

We are already realizing, remember that previous post, how much this arrangement is going to suck.  So, just for fun, not knowing what my credit looks like or if I can even get a loan for a house, I decided to start looking on zillow.com again.  Just because it’s fun and I like to dream.

We had found this house before, when we first started thinking about buying.

It’s in a great neighborhood, not on a main street, and did I mention it is in a great neighborhood.  After seeing this house, twice, I decided that if and when we buy in Vicksburg, it will have to be in or around this neighborhood.  I mean, people were out walking their dogs, strolling their kids, riding their bikes, and there was even a community Frisbee game on a grassy area in the middle of the neighborhood.  Just made me want to move in and never move again.

The house itself needs a lot of work.  The owner wants 118,000$ for it, but everyone we have talked to says he won’t get it.  It’s a 3/2.  So we could have an office/guestroom and a future kids room, no problem. It’s definitely not move in ready.  It doesn’t even have a washer and dryer hookup.  All of that however could be fixed with the proper loan.  But, it’s an as is sale, meaning, you can’t really get a loan on it. Peeling paint, codes etc.  Sigh.

The nice real estate lady told us about this other house.

It’s 112,000$ and totally move in ready.  It is only a 2/1, but it has a few more square feet than the other house (I haven’t even seen this one in person, but I fell in love with it on zillow).  It’s near the other house, just right up the street really, making it 2-3 blocks closer to the school.  Not that it makes that much of a difference.  But for some reason, I’m in love with this house.  Must. Go. See. It. In. Person.

This is the house that I was thinking about renting for 850$. 

It’s a 2/1 and the lady actually has it on the market to sell for 87,000$  The neighborhood was, meh.  Or what the people in the bizz like to call, transitional.  Meaning it could go either way, up or down.  And in my opinion, that neighborhood was on it’s way doooooown. And according to zillow’s estimate on the mortgage payment, it would be under 400$ a month.  Total ripoff.  I’m sure the hell not going to pay 850$ AND utilities AND mow the grass, when it’s selling for 87,000$.  Fuck that.  It’s falling apart anyway.

So now down to the dirty.

Before we even thought about buying, my credit was really good.  Then our credit cards people’s got mad at us because we were not using our credit cards as much as they would have liked us to.  We were paying them off and using them very sparingly.  So these lovely credit card people decided to cut three of our credit cards off.  Lowering our debt to available credit ratio, putting my credit back in the toilet.  Thanks Assholes!

However, after paying off some more credit cards, I’ve realized that my credit limit on one credit card has been raised from 500 to 2750.  Which gives me much more credit than debt.  So me thinks my credit score may have gone up with that.  So I’ve got to find out exactly what my credit score is and if it’s high enough, see if I can get a loan for a house.

Our idea is that we would take our permanent situation from FL to MS.  Since that is where we won’t to move.  So Ed would rent a room from a co-worker and we could possibly buy a house.  That way we are only rally paying one large amount out and it will be more of an investment than throwing it away to some rich Indian real estate lady and her doctor husband. 

We shall see about all this.  We shall seeeeee…. Stay tuned for updates on my housing woes.

******************************************************************************
Update:

Well that was a bust...let's see what I can figure out now...

Go the Fuck Away

Most of you have heard of the book Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbacj, hilariously narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.  Well, I need to write a sequel called Go the Fuck Away.

Moving back in with your parents at the age of 28 (GASP!) is not easy.  Especially when your political and religious views don’t exactly match.  Let’s just say, could be polar opposite.  At the same time, your food preferences are completely different as well.  Not to mention, every day, one of your parents walks back to where you are and  just stands. In your door way. And looks at you.  I’m trying to decide if this is the look of, “I can’t believe you took out all that loan money to go to that expensive liberal arts college AND THEN got a masters degree and during that time spent four years abroad, and still you come back to live in my house…even AFTER you are married” or, if it’s just a curiousness, like, an animal in a zoo.  Eventually, said parent will say, “what are you doing?”  Well clearly I am ignoring you staying out of your way.  I’m obviously on my computer or my phone or reading a book or watching tv.

This is when I want to say…just go the fuck away.

But alas, they are doing me a favor, letting me live here and save money until we pay off our credit cards and the husband can get a job and move here.  So I can’t exactly be a jackass.  So I try to say something non-descript or general, like, "playing on the computer" or "nothing" or "watching tv."  Every other day, I get spunky and say, “minding my own business,” which just pisses said parent off and leaves me in a bad spot and walking on eggshells.  Not a fun way to live.

Needless to say, the house hunt has continued.  Both to buy and to rent, more on that later.

As most of you know by now, Ed’s dad, Mr. Burton (Rich) has passed away.

I’ve been avoiding writing this post and just about everything else I need to do, mostly because I’ve been lazy, also because this is hard. 

Aftter many calls from Karen (Ed’s mom) and Charles (Ed’s brother) and maybe even some from Grammy (Ed’s grandmother) asking us to please come earlier than Ed’s already bought plane ticket, I finally convinced him that we needed to go.  My parents and I had just driven down to Florida on Thursday, June 23^rd, from Mississippi to pack up some of my things for the impending separation that Ed and I are about to endure.  Sunday, while we were vistiting Karen’s cousin, his wife, and their kid, who had come down to FL for vacation, we got another call from Karen and then again from Charles, saying things had gotten worse and we needed to come immediately.  Karen told us repeatedly that Rich was just hanging on until Ed got there.

All night Sunday night we were trying to find the most reasonably priced tickets we could in order to get us there in the shortest amount of time possible.  We finally found a flight that would get us there Monday night at midnight, leaving in the late morning.  We would have to fly from Fort Myers, FL to Charlotte, NC to Milwaukee, WI and then finally to Omaha, NE where we would then have to drive what we found out would be three hours because of the Missouri River flooding and road construction.

When we got to the airport, we were trying to board the plane, I was going first, and when the nice guy at the counter scanned my ticket he said, “huh…wait a sec.”  I kind of got worried when after the second and third tries he still couldn’t get my ticket to work.  Ed volunteered that his ticket was the same and would probably do the same, and it did.

He then stopped boarding the plane and brought us over to a kiosk where he rerouted us.  I was about to say something when he said, “don’t complain, you’re going to like this.”  And we did…he rerouted us straight from Fort Myers to Wisconsin then to Omaha, shaving a big 8 hours off our trip, getting us to Rich sooner.  We had an awesome flight, with exit row seating and were able to get to Iowa by early afternoon.

Charles met us at the airport and drove us to Sioux City.  We met road construction and awful drivers the whole way, making the normal one hour trip take three hours.  Every so often, Karen would call in somewhat of a panic, asking where we were, saying we needed to hurry.  Charles of course was already doing 90+ mph when he could.

The next part is the hardest part for me.  We arrived is Sioux City and we immediately jumped out of the car and went inside, not worrying about our luggage or anything else.  When we walked upstairs to the living room, we saw the hospice bed that had been set up last time we were there and in it was the ghost of a man I once knew.  He looked nothing like himself.  Just a month before when we had been in Iowa, he was running up the stairs telling us he was not ready to die and that he was going to fight.  Unfortunately, the cancer had a different plan.  I already started to miss his, “Hey Kid!,” “Whatcha doin kiddos?,” and “hey darlin’”’s.

Ed had 22 hours with had dad before he passed.  He sat there and held his hand and talked to him.  It was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever seen.  I kept thinking to myself, that my poor “bottom” (Ed’s nickname) had lost his mother to cancer and had now lost his father. It breaks my heart, as well as Ed’s, knowing that his parents will not be there to see our children and at the same time, we are so thankful that Karen will be there to share in those moments with us.  Grammy, who helped raise Ed and Charles when their mother died, will also be there to help our children know the great man that was their grandfather.  

Decision made…

So…out of four choices….

1)    the house for rent:  850/month, 500 deposit, and probably about 400 in utilities, in town

2)    the apartment:  right under 700/month, 150 deposit, 200ish in utilities, 30 min commute

3)    a friend: 150/month, 45 min commute

4)    home with the parents, 200 in gas, 1 hour 15 min commute

After much calculation and some reasoning/rationalizing with one of my best friends, Alisa, I came to the conclusion that option 1, is out of the question, just too expensive for what we would get and would take all our extra money, defeating the purpose.  Option 2, where more reasonable, still didn’t allow us to save enough to pay off our credit cards within a reasonable amount of time.

So now it’s down to option 3 and 4.

Living with friends is hard…but what’s harder?  Being an adult and living with your parents or living with friends?

I know what living with friends can do, you have to work at it so you don’t ruin your friendship.  Sometimes you have to let some things go even though the bother you.  Or if you get on each other’s nerves, sometimes you just have to let it go. For the sake of the relationship, and the living situation.

My parents would probably just drive me insane.  Plus, the commute is further and did I mention my parents would drive me insane?  I mean, I can always take a break if I need to and come here.  But I think living here would just…drive me insane.

So, it’s option 3!  I’m living with a friend!  Dee, I hope you know how much living with friends changes things!  It’s not going to be a cakewalk!  Although we can walk…and eat cake…

So, by living with my friend Dee…and we’re hoping that this is only 3-4 months…Ed and I will be able to pay of our debt and then we can afford for him to quit his job in Florida and move to Mississippi.

And to clear that up:  We can’t afford to move and only have one income, so Ed is keeping his job in Florida, until we pay off some of our debt (we’re hoping only 3-4 months).  So yes, we will be living apart for a few months.  But by saving money and sacrificing some comforts, we’ll be able to pay off some of our debt and be able to afford more “luxuries” in the future, luxuries like…living together…soooo sad. 

We also hope to build our credit up real high so that if we decide we like teaching in Mississippi, we can possibly buy a house.  Because BUYing a house costs a lot less than renting, I’m talking the difference in 400$ mortgage on a 3/2 house or renting a 2/1 for 900$.  I know there are other costs when buying and if something breaks, we have to fix it.  But we wouldn’t buy until we had the second income and some other things in place, like a new couch, and a new computer, and of course some more serious things like, a down payment, etc.

So even though this is a difficult time, with the health of Ed’s dad deteriorating, we will be living apart, adding more stress.  But we’re trying to think long term benefits, so hopefully all this stress and being apart will pay off in the long run.

Here’s to hoping! (chugs a bottle of wine)

20…what…noooo it’s the 1960’s…

Here I thought it was 2011….and then I began the process of moving back to Mississippi.  Most people around here don’t notice the problem because it’s accepted practice.  But after moving away from Mississippi for so long and living in places like Illinois, Germany, and Florida, I must have just forgotten.  I actually think the problem is that I did most of my growing up and forming of views away from Mississippi.  And now that I’m coming back, it’s just shocking.

Example 1:

I was on the phone with a real estate gentleman talking about rental properties.  He was very nice and extremely helpful.  We talked for about 30 minutes, even though he didn’t have any properties available at the moment.  We talked about different areas, the potential of buying,  what I was looking for, and all the other things people talk about when moving to a new area.  He was giving me different options when he paused, and the conversation continued like this:

Gentleman: Now, I don’t want to offend you, but let me ask you a question.

Me: OK.

G: are you black or white?

M: well I’m white, sir.

G:  OH, ok, well…I just won’t want to put a little white girl in an all black neighborhood…

(.5)

G: and I wouldn’t want to put a little black girl in an all white neighborhood either…

(.5)

G: and I ask because you could have been a well-educated black girl

(.5)

M: oh.

COME ON.  This is TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN!!!           

Example 2:

This one took place in person, with a little lady who lived out in the country.  She was very well educated, a lawyer, owns several businesses, and owns over 20 rental properties.

Lady:  I can tell over the phone what kind of people you are…and then I make it harder if I don’t like the way they sound.

Me: (blink…blink…)

L:  See…you would get the short application, because you’re good people…and somebody else, you know, like (points in the direction of a rental house where an African American family lived)…they get the long application.

M:  Oh, well what’s the difference? I’m not sure I understand?

L:  Oh well that’s just a way where I can weed out who I want living in my rental properties, cause you know, if they have any kind of problems, I don’t have to rent to them…but you get the short application, cause you’re good people.

I wanted to ask her…Really?  How do you know I’m, “Good people”? 

After talking to Ed about it, we decided I should go back and act all stupid and drunk, with loud music and see what she says then.  Wear some kind of skanky outfit and freak her out.

I mean come on… good god… it’s 2011…

Maybe I’m the stupid one, naïve at best, to believe that things have changed.  How are we to move on from the past if people can’t let it go?  I know things aren’t that simple, but things can’t get better around here the way they are now…

The Great Mississippi Home hunt of 2011…

And by great, I mean it sucks ass…

So according to everyone who knows anything about Vicksburg, MS, there are absolutely no houses to rent in Vicksburg, for a decent price, in a decent neighborhood.  According to a couple realtors, the real estate market in Vicksburg was not affected in the recent boom.  Also, rental properties come at a premium.  Because houses are so cheap, most people just buy them.  But for those who can’t buy (yeah, that’d be me) and want to live in a nice, safe area, pay biiiiiiig money, which I don’t have either.  So what does a poor girl, with a new job, and meh credit do?  No fucking clue.  Still trying to figure that one out.  On top of all that, because of the “Great Mississippi River Flood of 2011,”  all the rental properties are full of teanats who have been misplaced by the flooding or have been hauled in for the next couple of years to fix problems caused by the flooding, making it IMPOSSIBLE to find a place to rent.  Everyone, who doesn’t know me, keeps telling me, “Oh, you should just buy!”  Oh, I would love to!  Just, I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to get a better education so that “all my dreams will come true,” which means taking out some loans and having a credit card here or there to live on.  And now this whole economic crisis bullshit has come along, fucking up all my plans and dreams, etc. etc. etc.

Needless to say, I’m bitter…angry…and sad…Oh, and kind of homeless.

Sooooo if you know of anything decent in a decent price range…oh, now wait, we should talk about what a decent price range is.  A lot of people have told me, “Oh, I know a great cheap place!” and I say, “Really?!? How much?” “Oh, it’s such a steal! It’s a one bedroom one bath for 1,250$ a month!”  and this is where in my head I go off like this, “Bitch, you don’t know what cheap is.  Why don’t you go crawl back up your daddy’s ass and let him buy you another new car?”  Where in reality, I say, “Oh, well isn’t that just nice.”  Bitch please.  A decent price, is one that a person on a single salary can afford and have money left over to do things like…eat…buy gas for the car…maaaybe have internet…and I hear there’s this thing that you watch on TV called cable….that might be nice to have for a while.  So what’s the magic number? Well it’s not 1,250$ for sure!  How about, 800$ OR LESS!

So, like I was saying, before I had to correct a bitch.  If you hear of anything in Vicksburg, MS for rent for a decent price, in a decent neighborhood.  Please let me know.  I’d appreciate it greatly.

Long over due and yet still nothing to say…

I guess you can say a lot has happened since I last posted and I’ve been super busy. Hence I have not posted.  However, I still have nothing to say, nothing good anyway.

Ed’s dad is still basically the same.  Nothing new, really.  They did make the trip up to their cottage at Lake Okoboji.  Rich seems to be much happier and relaxed there.  He does seem to sleep a little more than before.

I came back to Mississippi to do some professional development and will sign my contract on July 14^th.  I have to be back August first as well for more professional development. Currently I’m looking for a place to live, without any luck.  More on that later.

I started my second masters program this summer. MA in Teaching Foreign Language with a Concentration in Teaching English as a Second or Other Language.  It’s a lot of work already, so I’m not sure what’s going to happen when I start teaching full time.

Ed is still looking and applying for jobs in Mississippi.  He got an interview for a job in Ruston, LA, but that’s really just too far away to commute, especially since we only have one car and the job didn’t pay that well.

Summer is having a girl.  She is super excited about that.  Just what she wanted.

I think that’s all the real updating.

Sigh...

We always worry about things when we're gone for an extended length of time.  First, is the car safe where we parked it.  Yes!  Second, did someone break in....  Well we pulled up and a light was on that we didn't leave on.  But it's not the culprit you may think it to be.

We knew this would happen, we've just been avoiding it because we do not have a way to fix it.  But after moving to four different apartments in three different states.  The ol Ikea bookshelf decided to give up. And while on her way down, she managed to flip the light switch.

She's been holding on to alll those books for sooooo long.  From first glance, it seem like the only damage is to one of my two matching lamps (it's shattered) and my avocado seeds (which were all knocked over and their water spilled on the carpet...which is now dry and doesn't seem to show any signs of the incident).  We'll see tomorrow morning if there is any more damage.

And the last thing we always wonder (if we didn't take her with us), is Ebba ok?  I'm pretty sure she is.  She's in good hands and we'll pick her up tomorrow afternoon.

Update: 05/23/11

I wanted to wait a couple days to update because you never know what is going to change and when.  Rich (Ed’s dad) is doing much, MUCH better.  He gained enough strength to be released from the hospital Friday.  While he was being released, hospice came and set up a hospital bed in the living room and switched out his oxygen tanks.

At that point, the plan was to go home and get strong enough for chemo.  I think coming home has really helped.  He’s been getting up and walking around more, taking regular showers, and is having to use his oxygen less and less. It also helps that he can actually eat and sleep when he wants without constant interruption from nurses (and 11 p.m. cleaning ladies!).  Yesterday we even went for a little car ride, just to get out of the house and see some sun.  He’s eating more and more (which is good!) and he has got some fight in him.  When we first got here, it seemed like he was ready to give up.

While the hospice nurses were here, he ran up the stairs and told them that he just wasn’t ready yet and that he was going to fight!  Karen and I were both sitting there, very surprised at this sudden burst.  But since then he’s been gung-ho and ready to beat this.  He's got a doctors appointment today, right about the time that we leave, and hopefully we'll hear nothing but good news!

Today is our last day here.  We fly out at 2:30 p.m. after we drive to Omaha.  I really hope that his get-up-and-go sticks around after we leave.  Karen said, that us being here has really helped.  I’m not sure how, but we’re glad it did!

Job Interview...

So I had a job interview yesterday for a German position at Vicksburg High School in Vicksburg, MS.  I was rally nervous because this is ultimately me dream job.  To be in control of a German program at a high school where I can help it grow and realize the potential of the German language.

The interview wasn’t until four p.m., but we headed home to “get ready” at about 3:15.  The principal at Vicksburg High School, Mr. Derek Reed, very so kindly let me do the interview over the phone because of the current situation: living in Florida, just flew to Iowa, and the seriousness of the situation with Ed’s dad.

I was told that there old be 4-5 other people on the other end of the phone (Mr. Reed, two assistant principles, head of the Modern Language Department, and possibly one other person), so I was really nervous.  I thought back to the phone calls on skype when there were more than one person on the other end and you start to talk over one another.  The idea of that happening made me even more nervous.

It was 4 p.m. and I was sitting on the bed waiting.  Only Ed and I were home, so the house was nice and quiet.  At 4:05 I thought, well maybe it was at 4:30. 

At 4:10 my phone rings.  It’s Mr. Reed.  He asks me if I was waiting on his call for the interview….welll duh!  And so he said, “Let’s get this thing started.”  I expected then for the others to join in.  But it was just him.  He asked me the normal interview questions, which took about 15 minutes.  And mostly because I talked A LOT.  He did the normal, “Do you have any questions?” question, to which I asked a couple questions. 

He then said that at this point he would normally tell the applicant that they would have to discuss all the applicants with the other principles and decision makers and get back to me in about a week, but he had already made his decision and asked me if I wanted the job!

Of course I immediately said yes, in hopes that we can work everything out.  A lot has to happen before we can actually accept the job and move to MS, but there was no way I was telling him no!

So we’ve got a lot to discuss, plan, and research in the next few weeks.

We decided later in the evening to send Mr. Reed an email and ask for help finding Ed a job.  We attached Ed’s resume and other important information and hoped he could direct us to something.  Early this morning (7:30), Mr. McDonald, one of the assistant principles, called me to ask what Ed wanted to do and the types of jobs he is interested in.  He then said that he would forward Ed’s information to a couple of the jobs that had already closed that he thought Ed would do well.

So it’s looking possible that Ed and I both might have jobs in Vicksburg soon!

Iowa Update: 05/16/2011

We arrived in Sioux City, IA late, late Friday night.  Ed’s dad, Rich, had already been in the hospital for an infection.  Saturday, we went to visit him.  When we first got to the hospital to see him, he was pretty down.  Not really speaking coherently and sleeping most of the time.  We stayed around a bit.  He ate and got some fluids.  A little later, he was feeling better so he got up and we played card games in the hospitals family room.  We had a good time laughing and playing Uno.  He gained a lot of strength while we were there. 

The next day (yesterday), he was released in the afternoon and Ed made our normal, Nummy pizza for dinner.  He had plenty of food and fluids and was doing pretty good.  We all went to bed, but Rich didn’t sleep well.  He has nightmares and woke up in the night having difficulty breathing. 

When we woke up he was sitting in his comfy chair with his oxygen, still having difficulty breathing.  He had a doctors appointment at 10:30 today (05/16) and the doctor found that he had fluid on his belly, among other things.  The doctor decided that he should be readmitted to the hospital.  After a CAT scan, they determined that he had another blood clot in his lungs and that is what had woken him up during the night.  The fluid on his belly is also causing the labored breathing.

In addition, the tumors on his liver have multiplied.  The last time they went to Mayo, Karen counted 11 tumors.  Today, they showed more than 50.  At this point, they don’t think he will be well enough to start chemo.  They give him one to two weeks.

mfG,

Alexis

Up in the air...

That seems to describe our lives for the last couple of years.  The most common phrase in our household is, “Let’s wait until  _____.”  You can fill in the blank with phrases like, “we start school,” “we finish school,” “we get there,” “we find out about ____,” and the list goes on and on. 

There are a lot of exciting/emotional things going on right now.  Ed has his job here in FL at FGCU, but I’m still looking.  I have a potential job at a high school a little over an hour away, but it depends on the FL legislature and which way they vote on the class size amendment.  I read an article that they capped classes at the larger number, so I’m still unsure if I have a job here or not.  I continue to apply in this area, but after the “traumatic” experience of the Collier county recruitment fair, I’ve expanded my job search a little further.  How much further? Eh… all 50 states? Sort of.  If they have a German position, I’m applying.  But if not, I’m sticking to the southern states.  The next time we move we’d like to move to a place where we both have job offers and be closer to family.

That being said, I applied for a German position at Vicksburg High School in Vicksburg, MS.  It’s very rare for a German position to come open in MS.  So I jumped at the opportunity to apply.  I wasn’t sure when the ad been posted, so I called the school to get some more info.  Turns out the posting was closing and they wanted to do interviews the very next week.  The nice little lady at human resources told me I could speed up my application (because it is a snail mail only process) by emailing her my resume.  I quickly assured her that I could email her everything they could possibly need to hire me and so I did.  She then forwarded my email directly to the principal.  And that was it.

Ed always tells me to apply and forget about it….and that’s really hard for me to do.  I usually obsess about everything.  I mean, if it’s a job that I really want, I think about it.  Is that not normal?  But I tried my best not to think about it.  We’re getting ready to go to Iowa to visit Ed’s parents, so I did some house cleaning.  I checked my phone and noticed I hat two missed calls and a new voicemail.  One of the missed calls was form mom, so I just figured she left the voicemail, especially since I didn’t recognize the other number.  I’ve been getting a lot of wrong numbers lately.  So I called mom back and chatted for a while.  Afterwards, I did some laundry and thought back to the voicemail.  So I went back to my phone and gave it a listen.

“Hi Ms. Whittington.  This is Jamie Creel, the assistant principal at Vicksburg High School.  We looked over your resume and are very, VERY impressed.  We’d like to get you in here for an interview on May 17^th.  Please give me a call.”

Um…AHH. So I called back immediately and he was on bus duty.  I called back the recommended 15 minutes later and he was in a meeting.  So I called back today and they again said that they wanted me to come in for an interview.  I told them my situation that I was flying to Iowa this Friday and not coming back for over a week and on top of that I live in FL.  I asked if it were possible to do a phone interview and it was confirmed.  Phone interview, May 17^th and 4 p.m. 

I’m super excited.  This is a great opportunity (if I get the job) to stay in an area for a long time, we may be able to finally settle!  But all of this depends on if I get the job, if Ed can get a job in the area, etc.

At the same time, I tend to be a mental cart before horse thinker.  So of course I went to zillow.com and started looking at houses in the area.  I also contacted a friend who lives in Vicksburg and asked about potential areas to or not to live in, in Vicksburg.  Zillow showed some beautiful houses in our price range. 

So all our hopes and dreams are still up in the air.  If I get a job here, we want to move, possibly by a car, get some real furniture, and a host of other things.

If we both get jobs in MS, we have to move, possibly get a car, hopefully get some real furniture, and again, a host of other things. 

Also, when we both get jobs, wherever that might be, we want to move to a house.  Whether we rent or buy, we don’t’ want to share walls any more.  Having neighbors is nice, creates a sense of community, etc., but this whole sharing a wall thing has got to stop.  I’ll save the neighbor rant for another post.